So. Um. I mustered the courage to assemble a résumé and headshot, marched my little behind down to the audition I had booked, and just got the call today saying I didn't get a role. Initially, I was surprised. I didn't really think that I wouldn't get a role, so it was just a moment of, "oh".
I sat back and reflected upon it for a while, and have come to the conclusion that the reasons for this decision were the fact that the shows they were doing were set a few hundred years ago and I am presentably female with short hair, also I wouldn't have been able to make it to the first rehearsal for the show that I had expressed interest in. They seemed to like me and my performances well enough at the time, so I guess it's just a bit of a bummer. They included in their message that if I wanted to call for any reason and talk to them that I'd be allowed to starting today. Part of me wants to call and ask how I could improve myself but another part doesn't want them to think I'm being whiny about not getting a role (yay social anxiety). I know that it would probably be beneficial for me to call and see what it was so that I don't fuck up my next audition.
Speaking of next auditions, there are currently a few going on for a local theatre group that I am interested in, but at the same time, scared shitless of because they are a slightly larger company and the plays are musicals. Not that I can't sing, I believe that I have a good voice, but I am self-conscious, none the less (yay social anxiety pt.2). So I'll probably be moping about the house for the next few days while I debate auditioning and generally try to shake off that dull sting of rejection.
So this was basically just a ranty-type journal, but it helped me prevent a stalemate within myself. I need to keep on rolling and keep on putting myself out there, so I'm not even going to retreat. Retreating = bad. Just take what comes and move on, is my current mindset. I can't get too upset over something like this because 1) it wasn't personal, and 2) if I can take anything from this, it can be audition experience. So, in the words of our favourite amnesic blue tang: just keep swimming.
Listening to: Keep Awake — 100 Monkeys
Reading: Good Omens
Drinking: Neo Citran